lets kick some nuts

Ironic.

2011-07-02T02:40:00.002+08:00

You tell me actions, speaks louder. But there's something about her words that hurt.

My annual(i think its annual) BBQ

2011-06-21T09:59:00.003+08:00

Group shot!!

me and mirah

the khoolfaks..the core members?! hahah

Foxy's!!

BBQ!! this happen like two weeks ago. yea, late update.. been too busy with exams and my cousin wedding(more pics then) . the bbq was in total mess, everything was delayed. we ended up bbq-ing at 7 when we were suppose to do it at 6. anyways, it was fun towards the end when We played water bombs and threw it mostly at me(=.=)! someone threw peach tea and also chocolate at me..ergh!!

It was fun and memorable!!

really~!

2011-06-16T00:50:00.004+08:00

Ok, this is a short one before the long one cause im going out later...heh!

I got this flattering comment from a girl just now. The story goes like this, she asked me whether I told Mirah if I like her. I said no. then she asked "why not?". i answered, " cause im not ready to take her as my gf or anything, just keep things mutual. Even if she found another guy or anything, its ok!". i continued " I want to ready for a girl cause i want it to be the last time, I want to have a really long relationship where the girl i chose will eventually be my forever. So to keep things in prospective, it is as if I have one ticket left and im going to use it wisely. Also, not getting into a relationship now is good cause i dont want the relationship to be no different to what i had in secondary school where i dont have anything to offer. Ya, some girls dont go for material goods but its a great feeling to be able to do anything, at any moment cause I can afford it. Even if it takes a long time, I believe there is someone out there for me. Call me old fashion, but I really think its really romantic."

She said," I like you amir.................. i mean like like you as a person".

"ya, i got it.." (=.=").

"Do you think there are other guys like you?"

in my mind was like.."woah, giving too much credit!?"

i replied " ya, of course there is, you just dont look hard enough''

All im saying is that, the dude can be handsome, rich and everything but its the lonesome ones who know the value of companionship and finding someone who is lonely inside is to me pretty hard to find.

Hahaha..plus I already got a plan on how im going to propose to her...thinking too far much!! HAHAHAHAHAH...( honestly sometimes i think im like a girl)..

Going to start a new catch phrase..L.M.L..(love my life, yosxz)

When life starts to teach, you better shut up and learn!!

2011-06-12T22:43:00.002+08:00

Trust. that is the most fragile word I know. Of course everyone know the meaning of trust, but does everyone know the value of it? The effort one has to do to keep that trust. Trust like reputation, takes only one big realization and its gone.

Why I blog about this today is that, when someone says he or she has trust issues about other people, that is really secondary school stuff. That is just between words. He/she cheated on me, so I got trust issues that is the usual issue. No doubt that is hard but there is even worst. Imagine its a close friends, spouse or siblings and put in money in the situation. When one cheats on the other and left the 'victim' to fend for his own. when lawyers are in play. thousands of dollars are at risk and all are under your name. To me that is when one learns the real meaning of trust.

It makes you think, how can one find a friend that understand trust the way that you do. The truth is you cant. Trust is like a leap of faith and hope that someone will be there for you if you fall. Of course you cant see it in school environment where people just bitch around, but in the real world where anyone can just disappear and leave you, seriously what can you do?

"being kind to another is being cruel to yourself"

tatts...

2011-06-02T19:42:00.002+08:00

I think im going to get myself a tattoo. Gonna get it from my Chest all the way to my biceps. Abit like Dwayne Johnson. The design is also quite similar. IT GOING TO BE COOL!!!

holidays already started. And its only 11 days. =.=". Stupid school! who the heck has only 11 days for holidays. And the whole week i'll be working, plus i got exams straight after the holidays. THis sucks!!

tension!!

2011-05-19T01:11:00.002+08:00

I went out with Kat yesterday. It was weird!! i mean i kept my distance from her, its just too wrong to go out with someone who meant so much to you last time. Now I just want to hide from her....

hahahahah...joking, i actually enjoyed it. But honestly, I wanted to feel a little bit of weirdness from it. But none. what a waste! now she owes me dinner..!!! im thinking Seoul garden!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

In my mind, I kept thinking about the "what if" question. Like what i said before, if she's already moved on, then i wont disturb her. there are many things that I want to tell her, because I thought she may not notice it. But most of the time I kept it in because I want her to notice it. No offence but maybe i expected too much from a person in general.

I wonder, why it took so long for me to hold just hold her hand? Why I took things slower than a snail pace with her? Why no matter how angry I was, or no matter how depress i got when she dont text me, Im can still get so excited to meet her. To me, she's someone special.

with me, when i love someone, i really do love them. And I believe that if you do love them, some part of you want them back, and some part of you wants them to be "free". like you know the saying, " if you love someone, you must let her go" or something. If I have the chance, I would, but some part of me says i shouldnt, cause it might just be the same thing over again. Sorry Kat, I still want to be with you but I dont want to be the lonely BF anymore.

2011-05-16T01:55:00.005+08:00

Its a very common feeling, yea!?

oh god, that is so lame....

2011-05-11T22:33:00.003+08:00

I dont know if I said it before, i miss secondary school romance. It was a stupid time to be in a relationship but who cares!! So anyways, the girl i posted before managed to take me back to that moment of time. SO chubby her cheeks!!! hahahahaha...

Life goes on with nothing interesting.....

MIRAAAAHHH!!!

2011-05-09T22:42:00.000+08:00

'nuff said!

what is happening to me?!

2011-05-07T01:48:00.003+08:00

3 days ago, i did something that i should not have done. I know it wrong but i still did it twice. Now im regretting my actions. Regretting at a supreme being level kind of thing if you get what i mean. Im to ashamed to tell it in detail but I just wanted to get it out of my system. I feel so sinned. Oh God please help.....

meet warren buffett..

2011-05-03T23:44:00.003+08:00

I dont know how to express my admiration for this guy. He started investing at 6, studied at Columbia university, the only guy who got an A+ from a strict professor , and that same professor took him under his wing and now 3rd richest guy in the world. The amazing thing about him is that he maintained his position as top 3 richest man, and you know how hard it already is to maintain an A in a test.

He is how im going to base my life into. I can only hope to be like him. He has never used a calculator in his life. How can i even compete to that.

The reason why i aspire to be like him is that i really dont want to work my whole life on always chasing money. I want to have time with my family, the now and the then, the main thing about accumulation wealth is that you also freeing time for yourself. Money isnt really the root of evil, i think i said this before, but i'd rather be a wealthy guy with many problems, than a poor guy with the same amount of problems.

The different thing about this guy is that he sees things in its value. And value is really hard to put a number on.....i could talk about this guy all night and i still wont stop...hahahahha

I have been thinking on what i want to do after graduating, should i just go for interviews in my industry..or relax till i go into NS?! The thing about this blog is it always brings out the feely feely type of me. im sure you dont want to hear that from me..ok..night!!!

When everyone is confident that you will make it and you dont...

2011-04-13T03:40:00.002+08:00

My close friends would come to me if they have problems on life. To them they feel that i have everything in my life figured out, the plans i made, the things im going to do to reach them. Its just a plan and not all plans come through. That is always in my mind. " Not all plans come through".

I dont know what im going to do, I dont know what im going to do after poly or after NS. But the thing im so sure of becoming is that, when i reach the age, Im going to have wealth in my bank. that is my aim. Call me money minded but i feel that wealth will set you free. Whoever said that money is the root of all evil never felt being poor.

Why i say money will set you free, is that by being rich, you are actually buying time. Thats what i always think. I guess my passion is actually accumulating wealth. BUT im not a materialistic guy, idont go for branded goods. Injsut want to have money to support myself or family in the future. Money is something that we can control, How we spend it, how we save it, how we make it grow, is all up to us. I dont want to work all my life. I dont want to be at the age of 50 or 60 and not have enough money to do anything...

Infatuation or the real deal..?!

2011-04-12T05:31:00.002+08:00

Most of the time, people get confuse between infatuation and the real deal. How do you know if its the real deal and if you decide that if its not, then you may just let go the best thing that could happen in your life. Some will say that if you still have feelings for her and that feeling hasnt subside, then its real. sometimes i just want to know that if that person does or still feel the same way i do.

What i have about myself is that I give my all to a girl i love. And when it doesnt work out, i'll act all mature and numb myself by thinking there are other fish in the sea, but you know it yourself that there is a particular fish that you yearn for. What im saying is that, i can never move on completely. Its kindda pathetic dont you think?

passion and patience

2011-04-10T03:34:00.003+08:00

I was talking to my district manager at work today, we were both eating dinner. While i was on my way to work i was wondering about my life after poly. Question like-Where, How and What will i be then? then i felt afraid about it, cause i dont want to be a bum and when my close friends are all expecting me to make something of myself cause they can see a great"confidence" in me about what i want to do. I realised that no matter how i plan things, fate will ultimately decide where I would go.

I mean how did the rest did it. People how had nothing, only a burning desire in their heart and a unshakable determination to succeed in life. How did their motivation keeps them moving forward, most importantly how did they get that motivation? is it that we as Singaporeans lives in a luxurious manner that we jstu want to sit back and relax? Honestly My life is not as luxurious as what other people would say. Ya my family owns few lands and condo, but how did they do it??

My ultimate aim would be one day i dont have to work but still have my money keeping on growing. its a bit shallow to think that money will actually solves alot of problems, but it will!!! Ya it can buy happiness but it sure beats being broke and unhappy. I think that my only passion in life is to accumulate wealth. HAHAHA, that is so shallow....

breaking my habits..

2011-04-09T01:21:00.007+08:00

On the way back home i notice that almost everyone has an iphone. I dont have anything against people with iphones but dont you think it is changing too fast. no offence, but it kindda shows how people tend to be so materialistic about it. Ipad came out a few years ago and now Ipad 2 is out. I wonder what's the major difference about them both?

I was reading this book. Its say to be frugal. honestly that is hard for me, but it does makes sense. At the end of the day, you can see all the things that you didnt need in the first place, and when it collects dust and you decided to throw it away then its like throwing your money away too. Its a hard habit to break, but it breaks your heart to finally see that you didnt need it in the end and you could have used the money for something else.

I wonder kat, since you are the only reader, might as well i put your name everytime i update..like''hey kat....". i'll try not to post my problems here so we have something to talk else about..smart eh!

OMG what a corny thing to say....

2011-04-07T04:16:00.003+08:00

i'll start by giving a quote by yours truly,

"i dont mind falling in love again, but just keep me falling to no end"

There is no doubt that sometime no matter if you are with the most entertaining person on earth, you cant never let go the feeling of loneliness. I think its a lie that people say they are happy alone or being single. We are humans, we need companionship.

Every intimate moment begins with a touch. For me, holding hand or just putting your head in someone's shoulders is something that money cant buy. Playing with the fingers, or using the shoulders as a temporary pillow is really sweet. I like watching old couple doing that cause its like they have something to live for.

Sometimes i just cant help it but to look at a girls eyes(my girlfriend of cos), and appreciate the fact at that time, everything's perfect. It sounds corny, but i believe that is what love is about. why the sudden thought of this, the truth is that I am in love with someone. I love her. But i dont want to tell her. she's doing fine. so why complicate things, right?

'allo there!!!

2010-11-18T23:33:00.002+08:00

there are some things that i just cant leave behind. like this blog.

Anyways, its already been a month since i started working. there are days that i wish i could just disappear from work and they still pay me. its tiring. so much time was spent there, but no complains cause it gets easier every time i work, cause im starting know that place. Everything get easier if you took the chance to get to know it, put some effort in to it, cause nothing will move forward if you dont put effort into it. thats all i can say for work.

there is so many movies to watch this time. and the most talked about is obviously Harry Potter. I got the book so practically i "watch" the movie. but i do still wanna watch the movie cause of Emma Watson, i mean really, look at her. she has charisma, intelligence, beauty...she a freaking all-rounder!!!there isnt a lot of that kind of girl in the world. She's rare..!!!!

love-d

2010-10-27T01:13:00.002+08:00

i have to get you out of my head

and my heart.

what day is it today???

2010-10-23T11:33:00.003+08:00

IM FREE AT LAST!!! this week i wanted to update but too bz with work, and when im not working i'll be hanging out and i'll get tired and go home and sleep!!! so no time! hahahahah....plus modem was dead for the whole week, just got it back yesterday

cant put a long post today...i have to get to work soon, going down to buy bread and making "JOHN'S BREAD" or in malay "ROTI JOHN".....

Yea, i can cook!!!heh!!

omg, omg, omg!!!

2010-10-17T01:36:00.003+08:00

im so tired!!! And its the only the first week of work. i really need to get good shoes, my feet hurts every end of the day.

have i said that i love kids. especially babies, they dont really get scared of me. now they stare at me everytime im around( probably cause im bald like them). haha..there was one time i accidentally stood beside 3 bald babies. Baby 1, baby 2, baby 3...then me..-.-"!!! the people there are good. all around my age so its easy to talk to them. im lucky enough to have experience in this line, felt pretty confident handling customers. im learning fast, since basically its kindda the same thing over and over again.

School, everything is ok with school. all the same stuffs happening. haha, cant wait for holidays..-.-".

My previous classmate just broke-up with her guy. Im not close to her, but i really cant see a girl cry(unless she deserve it or i dont like her). its kindda sad actually, casue what i saw was that she really tried but it all had to end. dont know the whole story though.

Well I can't explain why it's not enough

Cause I gave it all to you

And if you leave me now

Oh just leave me now

It's the better thing to do

It's time to surrender

It's been too long pretending

There's no use in trying

When the pieces don't fit anymore

James Morrison

"the pieces dont fit anymore"

what if i.....

2010-10-10T04:40:00.003+08:00

What i learn so far about emotions is that it like a double edge sword. It'll give you meaning to your life, gives you reason to keep moving forward, its like it gives you the strength to move mountains. but once it turns against you, it leaves a deep scar inside. A scar thats always makes you remember.

There is always a small part of me that doesnt want to move on or let go. There is always the question, "what if i did or i didnt...".

Do i look like an emotionally attached person? if you dont know, actually i am. im very attached to stuffs that makes me happy, that defines me, that makes me go the extra mile simply because i care.But its not like that with the world. People rarely notice the things that you do. Its always their perspective that matters the most. There is one thing i hold on to now, people say they will or can change, but sooner or later they will always revert back to their old comfortable self because its more convenient. Im not pointing at anyone, its just what i see in people. Yet to meet someone who proves me wrong...heh!!

the last week before school....

2010-10-08T03:46:00.003+08:00

Dont be afraid to do what you love, no matter how embarrassing or childish it maybe cause that is how you define yourself.

just make sure no one know what you do.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH.....

this week is really such a bore..

got a job a FOX. the outlet?? somewhere in Singapore.

damn, should have asked for Topman.

i wonder if i can handle the burden of work.

i mean i dont want to work when im schooling.

but i have to this time.

IMMA GET MY DRIVING LICENCE

yup yup!! its a family thing.

everyone getting a licence must pay on their own.

not like some lucky bustards that i know...tsk!!

I hope that i can juggle all this

school.

work.

extra classes..

sigh......

hahahah....

just give me enough rest and i can move the world!!!

hahaha!!!!!!!

oh ya results are out.

i did ok, but i didnt expect to get such results.

must try harder next time.

question!!

2010-10-04T05:09:00.001+08:00

Should i start dating again or not???

my 21st birthday and hari raya

2010-10-02T05:26:00.003+08:00

a pic outside my malay teacher house. he's with us for 4 years since sec one.

the front is me, the birthday boy.

KHOOLFAKS!!!

who took this pic ??

and how come no pic of the cake..?

the things i believe in (3)....

2010-09-26T03:00:00.001+08:00

You only have to do a very few things right in your life so long as you don't do too many things wrong. - Warren Buffett

this week is a good week, you know why,,???

2010-09-23T16:59:00.002+08:00

so many things to watch so little time. there's Gossip Girl(my sis watch it, i dont..cause imma man!!! heh), Fringe, How I Met Your Mother, Glee ( another show that my sis loves to watch, i dont cause imma man), The Big Bang Theory, Family Guy all in one week!!! my life has meaning finally.

anws yesterday i went to the chalet. was Waisun/Samantha birthday. guess where was it..??!! RIGHT BEHIND THE OLD CHANGI HOSPITAL. how creepy is that. plus it is said that our chalet is the most haunted one. the things i did in that chalet stays in that chalet. hahahaha. there was some stuffs that happened other than that it was ok. Now thinking about it, i know someone who likes this kind of things...hmm...

the things i believe in (2)....

2010-09-20T19:19:00.002+08:00

Pain is temporary. It may last a minute or an hour, or a year,but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If i quit, however, it will last forever - LANCE ARMSTRONG

somewhere over the rainbow...

2010-09-18T05:35:00.002+08:00

50 first dates

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

She's out of my league

Valentines day

Love guru

Wedding singer

........

THANKS FOR MAKING ME WATCH ALL THIS!!!

its really not funny when u compare their fake situations to mine..

woah!!!

2010-09-17T01:16:00.002+08:00

RUN OI!!!!

i started running. its is hell i tell you, two years since i ran. With all the things i did in the middle, today was hell!!!

WEIGHTS OI!!!!

we(me, mas, and azil) went gym after that, those two purposely put extra weights when it was my turn to use the machine. just because my body is bigger hence stronger!! where's the logic?? and the way they motivated me to lifts those heavy weights, PLEASE DONT USE MY PAST AS A MOTIVATIONAL TOOL!!!

SWIMMING OI!!!!

we went swimming after that. freaking full body work out. spent about 3 hours there. now, im exhausted after hang out with them one whole day.

will be running again tmr!!!STADIUM OI!!!

maroon 5 new single - give a little more

2010-09-16T06:30:00.002+08:00

You've been bad, and it goes on and on and on
Till you come home with me, Till you come home
You taste past the poison, you learn to love is wrong
I'm all alone baby, I'm all alone

I'm waiting for something, always waiting
Feeling nothing, wondering if it'll ever change
Then I give a little more, oh babe
I give a little more, oh babe

I'm not gonna love with ya, I'm not gonna love
And I'm not gonna love with ya, I'm not gonna love
Till I get a little more from you baby
I get a little more from you baby

You were wrong for turning me on and on and on
And on and on, yeah
You make it so hard

I'm waiting for something, always waiting
Feeling nothing, wondering if it'll ever change
Then I give a little more, oh babe
I give a little more, oh babe

I'm not gonna love with ya, I'm not gonna love
And I'm not gonna love with ya, I'm not gonna love
Till I get a little more from you baby
I get a little more from you baby

I have no defense
I know you're gonna get me in the end
And I cannot pretend
I ever want to feel this way again

I'm not gonna love with ya, I'm not gonna love
And I'm not gonna love with ya, I'm not gonna love
Till I get a little more from you baby
I get a little more from you baby

I'm not gonna love with ya, I'm not gonna love
And I'm not gonna love with ya, I'm not gonna love
Till I get a little more from you baby
I get a little more from you baby

wanted to post the video...but it'll take too long!!

you guys should listen to the song..!!! freaking awesome!!!

the ups and downs of life.....

2010-09-14T21:20:00.006+08:00

My close friend ask to me before, "Why do you hold on for so long?". I answered " Cause i feel she's worth it."

Today, she said to me, after i told her what i did, " If you're happy with the wrong one, what more if you're with the right one" . Thanks for making me feel optimistic again..!!!

oh well, sudah tentu bro!!!

2010-09-13T21:53:00.004+08:00

im so tired...

bus trips, family trips, trips to school, trip and fall...-.-".

i need a gettaway..

i wanna go to sentosa....

but with who...???

this time there must be girls..!!!!

last time was all guys..

and coincidentally there was bunch of gays...

what a day..

fun fun fun fun

this week all pack.

monday,tuesday = UT

wed = orchard with crystal

thurs = accompany Liza

fri = prepare for saturday

Sat = cousin's wedding

Sun = ??

wanna find job..

gonna try FCUK

gonna try topman

if dont have then no nevermind

cause got other plans oso

hahaha

22nd waisun bdae

need to buy something for her

30th september

my birthday

1 night BBQ

east coast park

food all ready

not alot of people

i told them it was a close event

now im kindda anti-social

hahaha

1st,2nd,3rd oct

chalet near yacht club

donno where

will have alcohol

so still deciding to go or not

to drink or not (6)!!!??

dilemma !

tsk!

2010-09-12T23:13:00.005+08:00

I cannot take this anymore, you go do what u want. im starting to care less. Im tired of being there, im tired of listening, im tired of being concern. If this is what you really want in your life, then go. Just dont look for me when you fall again. And i swear to you, you will keep on ending up with the same thing.

"we are not an us"

2010-09-06T02:47:00.006+08:00

If you say that a relationship can survive with just two meeting per months, i want to see that. Seriously. About Michelle, its really nothing. its not about that keep i comparing myself to her, i dont compare myself to anyone.

Maybe we just have a different approach to this relationship. At the end of the day, we dont meet and at times we dont even talk to each other. Of course there are certain areas that i understand completely, like you mom rules.

Looking back at the 6 months we went through as a couple, i ask myself," how are we different between then and now?", " are we just two people who know each other?" ," am i really your boyfriend, or someone you call a boyfriend just because of in a relationship status ".

In my life, i like to get to know the people who matters. Anyone can know the other person by looking at their profile page or personal information. But from my experience, from my time with my friends or past relationships, its the things that we dont tell and they notice, to say " i know what you're thinking, i know you too well", i think thats makes any relationship special.

so, how well do we know each other??

sabar je aku ni......

2010-09-05T10:00:00.002+08:00

Someone has to lose so let it just be me, i'll just keep quiet. But really think about this, "So that’s like seeing u @least two times a month or once in every two weeks. Sounds quite reasonable to me."

If this is what you want and you are ok with it, i'll just comply. About, i forgotten the times that we met each other, im sorry. To tell you the truth, in my eyes, she is doing a better job than me.

release the hounds..!!!!! - monty burns

2010-09-04T04:57:00.002+08:00

November 9 2009 - somewhere before 14 Feb 2010

-the first movie date at GV

-Night Safari

-2nd movie date at vivocity

_____________________

April 9 2010 - July 23 2010

- Jurong east interchange( last day of attachment)

- monday after dance lesson

-late dinner at Mac

_____________________

now

-..................?..................

9 months. 6 times i saw u.

Is it really too much to ask?

ok, your move..

the things i believe in....

2010-09-03T10:33:00.001+08:00

Risk comes from not knowing what you're doing.
Warren Buffett

me and my botak head

2010-08-20T18:31:00.002+08:00

yes yes yes...im bald. to you guys who have not seen my beautiful head, basically it like a smiley face emoticon -.-"...

and no, i will not post any picture of my awesome head now. Why?? people will just copy and make fun out of it. its not funny guys!! my hair will grow back!!!

why am i bald u ask. its all for fun. just thought of giving it a try. kindda like a little excitement in my life. hahahahah... but honestly, no reason at all.

anyways, holidays are such a bore. text or call me anyone, i promise i will entertain you.....!!!! anyone!!

really, i didnt know....

2010-08-17T03:46:00.004+08:00

Was talking to my ex the other day. She kept on talking about the days when we were together. They were wonderful and special. It was the time when getting into a relationship is the "in" thing. The odd thing was that she still wants to be like what we used to be. Together. She told me what her mom's expectations was and..well basically she's just describing me. hahahaha. -.-".

I replied to her. " Honestly, right now, i have nothing to offer you. I cannot offer you security, a good future or anything. Sometimes i dont have enough moolahs for myself. I really have nothing to offer you back except that, i can just be a good friend and listen to your problems, be there as someone who care a lot. Other than that i have nothing. Im not an ideal boyfriend."

"However one thing is for sure, i will accept you as who you are and treat you good, as much as i can."

She laughed. '' this was what i wanted from you in secondary school. you werent what you described yourself today. Instead, i tried my hardest to impress you, cause everything i did like wasnt good enough for you. I didnt felt myself."

I said " really, i didnt know..."

To me, its better to accept you as who you are, then change you to what you are not. It was hard for me when i lost her.

I guess the only time you can truly know the meaning of somethings, is when you lose it. The question is will you do anything to get it back.....

sometimes life's like that....

2010-08-14T03:50:00.002+08:00

this is wad my fren wrote for rj (reflection journal). FUNNY STUFF....I swear no exaggeration !!! all this are true. this is what we go through each week.....

like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc or Aphrodite....

2010-08-11T23:57:00.003+08:00

self proclaimed little princess

i've made a collage of this girl before and i love to make it again.

hahaha

i really have no life but to do this late at night.

you really need something to smile about this days cause

honestly seeing you cry is pretty heartbreaking for all of us.

this is like on the be half of the Khoolfaks.

cool eh!!

Be yourself, cause thats who we all fall in love with!!!

XOXO,

bffnfnf!!!

gone.

2010-08-06T23:55:00.002+08:00

To be alone is to be different, to be different is to be alone

her alibi.

2010-07-28T23:56:00.003+08:00

Burn another bridge,

Break another heart,

try again,

it will only fall apart..

...............

I'm getting too old for this.

all this short term things.

I forgot that im still too young to "fall in love".

but honestly its really nice to see people that made it.

they must be the lucky ones.

finding their partner in their early age.

there is no remorse or regret this time.

just tackle it in a day by day basis.

keeping im mind, someday someone will leave ur life..

whether u like it or not..

and thanks effy, for being there for me....

There's an Italian painter, named Carlotti....

2010-07-27T01:14:00.003+08:00

There's an Italian painter, named Carlotti, and he defined beauty

...He said it was the summation of the parts

Working together in such a way that nothing needed to be added

Taken away

Or altered

And thats you

You're beautiful

100th.....

2010-07-22T23:34:00.001+08:00

It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone - so far.

Marilyn Monroe

is this true?? cause i felt most of this...

2010-07-19T00:28:00.003+08:00

efoy aka monkey ears aka capalang girl aka EFFY!!

2010-07-12T23:25:00.006+08:00

effy is my best friend,

she goes to school with me.

she think that tamp is great,

but i really disagree.

(GO RED-LINE!!)

she tell me almost everything,

like"i want to go sheshe!!"

im grateful to have a fren like her,

even thought she complain's.

(alot)

ok, thats it....

SHEEEEEEESHAAA.........NOT!!!

2010-07-10T05:41:00.003+08:00

wad happen??

we didnt get our sheesha as we planned cause one of my fren who was tagging along wasnt old enough to have it. so we spent our night there just laughing and eating and laughing. i went and intro-ed my sec frens to my RP frens. it was a good TGIF!!! cause i kept thinking yesterday(thurs) was friday. now that it is...it feels awesome. i cant wait for holidays. i need alot of rest. anyways i was almost late today, yesterday was so shagged that i had a really good night sleep. a really good night sleep!!! and i woke up to the thought of a fren who was waiting for me at the interchange. really!!! i was like shocked!! looked at the time and zoomed to the toilet. i bathe properly..-.-" !!!!

today almost skipped my class half way. was so tempted. then went to bugis met my frens and have fun!!!

HAPPY MONTH-SARY TO MY DEAREST.....(i wonder why she didnt text me back..hmm)

just a little bit of H2O and Cl..we get a swimming pool

2010-07-08T23:28:00.004+08:00

yup yup...went swimming today. awesome? totally!!! with frens from RP...we were like kids honestly, playing catching in the pool..tiring as hell!!! see who can float.."waterbending" -.-"..hahahha. FUN!!

from the left.

monkey ear(effy), jacob black(hehe:P), the only chinese in our group, boob lady, boy metro-sexual, boy sachok(he thought it meant good looking)

aka

effy, me(amir), crystal, nan, hanafi, mas....

Eclipse

2010-07-07T01:24:00.002+08:00

in the end i watch the movie today....hahahahah

i watched it with a Mas, he kept thinking its like gay. Its just two frens who want to watch a movie together thats all. its been quite sometime since i hang out with them.

oh, by then i meant crystal, mas and hanafi. we went to accompany crystal to buy her clothes. She asked for our help. i mean naturally, we dress up good~...heheh!!

anws, the movie, it was ok. nothing to be hyped about. to be honest i didnt expect it to be funny. there was some parts of it which was hilarious. the part in the tent, that was funny!!!

im thinking of watching the prequel of ip man this saturday..or maybe friday. im going out with my secondary school mate again. the same three idiots..maybe will eat Popeye's again. yumz...!!!

and imma start to go to gym now..cause someone(will remain nameless) is eye-candying on Jacob(from twilight)...GO AMIR GO!!!!

if only....

2010-07-05T08:31:00.002+08:00

im like batman...

2010-07-05T02:37:00.002+08:00

its almost 3..am!! and im still awake.

there are just some unresolved things in my heart.

i cant stop thing about it.

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

every question begin with that.

i want to ask, but in the same time i dont want to.

maybe because i already know the answer.

but there are so many contradictions.

because my questions gets unanswered, i get frustrated.

the frustration is draining me.

my facial expression becomes worried.

I become aimless...

there is so much anger...

God, i feel like punching someone's face!!!

IGNITE!!!

2010-07-03T17:17:00.003+08:00

the three idiots....

2010-07-01T23:53:00.002+08:00

i spent time with mybest mates today... ate at popeye's(finally!). i cant never get bored with them. our jokes are old yet still new to us. hahahahahha....i even got my ex jealous of them cause she cant make me laugh like how those guys made me laugh. with them i really cant say no. its really an amazing feeling when you found someone who have the a replica of you. the jokes are funny no matter how lame it is. they are the people i want to spent my golden days together with...drinking kopi-o at the coffeeshop...hahahah that is our dream actually..hahahahaha...its really nice to just forget about the world and just enjoy the moment. act as if we are still in secondary school, laugh out loud as if we were the only ones in the building...

what if (coldplay)

2010-07-01T00:31:00.000+08:00

What if there was no light.
Nothing wrong, nothing right.
What if there was no time?
And no reason or rhyme?
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side.
That you don't want me there in your life.

What if I got it wrong?
And no poem or song..
Could put right what I got wrong,
Or make you feel I belong
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life.

Oooooh, that's right
Let's take a breath, jump over the side.
Oooooh, that's right
How can you know it if you don't even try?
Oooooh, that's right

Every step that you take
Could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
But that's the risk that you take
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there in your life.
That you don't want me there by your side.

Oooooh, that's right
Let's take a breath jump over the side.
Oooooh, that's right
How can you know it when you don't even try?
Oooooh, that's right

Oooooh, that's right
Let's take a breath jump over the side
Oooooh, that's right
You know that darkness always turns into light
Oooooh, that's right.

one of my fav bands....

G.E.E.K.?

2010-06-28T22:23:00.002+08:00

another two weeks and its ut again. sigh. late nights, sleepy afternoons. Adrenalin pumping!!!

haha, its like not normal to see RP students to be hardworking. those who are, usually 100% NERD LOOKING. seriously. the rest will be like last minute study. its 3 years doing this diploma, meant if i dont do well at the end. its 3 years of wasted time. and i dont want to not be what i want to be in the future. its sad to see people like that.

N.E.R.D.?

2010-06-20T02:36:00.002+08:00

i've been wondering, how am i in 10 years to come? will i achieve my dream, or will it just be a dream. should i be worried about the things i have now, because i know not all of it will be there in the future. I donno how to react when people already decide on who they want to be with for the rest of their lives. admirable? hmm...im not sure on what to say. im 21 and i still think its too early to think about settling down. i mean there are other things to think about.

and i wonder if they plan things out already..?? will they have roof over their head?? food on the table?? i mean "love is all that matters" isnt really helping. why am i thinking of this..?? i just find it interesting to see how people see things.

i have a question which i cant find the answer to. people call me childish, i admit, at times i am. and i know it. but to what extend is maturity?? Is maturity a behavior or the way people think?? To me, maturity is simple. Maturity is knowing what is right and what is wrong, and stand by it.

so forgive me, if i dont fall to your category of "maturity", im not here to satisfy your need to feel superior., in other words, to feel mature....

crushes...CRUSHED!!!

2010-06-13T04:55:00.003+08:00

i remember the time when i was in sec. that was the life. hormones was raging, and being a relationship seemed to be the rite of passage to all secondary school students. someone here is dating someone there. everything was perfect..but like everything good, there will always be a bad.

so yea we spent 1 year and 3 months. but all that meant nothing cause the next day she got a new guy. so where does all that began, by a simple crush. they worked together and got closer. the whole crew went overseas and they spent their time like a couple. so that was how i spent my first relationship. crushed within 12 hours.

so forgive me if i have a harsh view on crushes, and she still wants to be friends......im not asking for sympathy or anything. im just tired of getting hurt for someone else's happiness....

Why quit smoking??

2010-06-05T08:17:00.002+08:00

im on a campaign to quit smoking. first of all, it really unhealthy and i really starting to hate the craving part of it. i seen frens who gets lung infections and i honestly dont want that to happen. so im in this holiday perios of mine, i will do my best to stay away from all forms of nicotine based products. yups, it s hard and thinking that ok maybe i 'll smoke once every three days really doesnt help.

this thing can cause death for heaven's sake. i mean, death is the merciful part of it. imagine if u have to suffer the result of ur cell being infected and degenerate, then mutated to something that we have no cure of ? and imagine if we have to suffer that agony for years...i dont want to get bald ok!!! its not a good look...

its been a long time...

2010-05-28T01:06:00.002+08:00

went out with sec. schoolmates today. i miss lauhghing with them... their funny is what i can relate to and its is still as comfortable being with them as before. i miss them alot.

imma on a secret mission on this holiday time( yup, im having my holidays now). its been two days since i did not smoke. really want to cut down. its getting harder every single day. like everywhere i turn, people are smoking. plus there's chalet to think about, meaning there will be people smoking. how how how....??? i donno.....

i miss my girl....lets meet soon please...

why i love you...??

2010-05-24T00:23:00.003+08:00

love,

is something that i cant explain.

something that i risked to take

when im with you...

smiles,

i smile alone with the thoughts of you

is this what love do to a fool..

then im really just a fool for you...

the imperfection is made perfect

u turn my frown upside down..

u are the center of my universe

in a rainy day.....

you are..

my sunshine.....

love,

a four letter word that cant justify,

the feeling that i feel inside,

when i look into ur eyes..

fear,

comes when i say my "hello's"

hoping that it wont be last time,

cause i cant be without you..

...

you,

is reason enough worth fighting for

you fit perfectly to my life's jigsaw

i love you..

now and forever more....

sorry forgot...

2010-05-18T00:28:00.002+08:00

hahahha...i totally forgot to update my blog.

what happened in my life.

imma in a relationship now...

and its awesome!!!!

cheeky cheeky....

ut coming!!!

that is important as well....

seeing how its close book, its revision time for me!!

two module...sigh

basically thats it...hahahahhaha...

k, bye!!

stop thinking amir, or you cant sleep....

2010-05-10T01:54:00.002+08:00

im confused. should i waste my wkends for extra school? i need some time to relax but i really dont want to disappoint me parents by looking like a couch-junkie... its been like 3 years since i had a 7 day week..!!! yes a 7 day week!! i have school every single day...im getting tired of it. and my parents like want me to be this person similarly to my sister. well im not!! and stop saying you arent comparing me and her when you always use her as an example!!! "ohh, your sis can do this, can do that...why cant you..you are too lazy!!!" yea well i dont want to be like her...i have my own things to do and i want to do it....sigh...in this place called home..my voice goes unheard...

sigh~....

2010-05-09T11:01:00.003+08:00

built a wall around my heart

never let it fall apart

Strangely i wish secretly

it would fall down while im asleep.

why so emo, amir? hahahah. you cant expect me to smile always right? when there's up; theres down. its a cycle!! the funny thing is that, what we choose to be, we really become it. and this feeling i'll get used to it soon.

sigh~....

2010-05-09T11:01:00.000+08:00

words straight from my brain...no second thoughts..

2010-05-07T01:27:00.002+08:00

i dont know why i still carry on..
do i even have to bother..
can you stop being vague..
what!?
god, please!!!
im tired of this..
stop it, just stop it..
if only i have a gun..BANG!! done....
what la, what you want.....??
just die please, thank you
sigh~

hectic electric pathetic

2010-05-05T00:37:00.003+08:00

update, update, what to update....

this past few days, i have to run here and there. new friends, old friends, n ew problems, old (still cant end )problems...sigh, story of my life.

oh ya, im dating a girl now, we agreed to have it really casual. friends said that im not ready to get back in the game. i kindda agree. why? some personal reasons i guess. but the important thing is im happy with this girl. she really fun to be with, i love to disturb her. hahahahahhaha
even so, people are talking, my close friends ask whether its official or not, its not guys!!! it was funny enough how we agreed to do this. but thats another story. i guess they were happy for us. hahaha thanks.

school, everything is okay, no problems at all.hahaha..k, going to be a criminal for a while...heheheheh...free show at other people expense!!! whahahahahaha

this is not the real us....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
....this is....

you are so beautiful

2010-05-04T02:03:00.000+08:00

You are so beautiful to me
Can't you see
Your everything I hoped for
Your everything I need
You are so beautiful to me

Such joy and happiness you bring
Like a dream
A guiding light that shines in the night
Heavens gift to me
You are so beautiful to me =]

dammit..i cant even stick to this...amir, you losaaa!!!!

2010-05-02T11:20:00.003+08:00

FAT FAT FAT!!!! VAIN VAIN VAIN!!!!

this is what i have become.sigh.
ok, the important question, whats with my hiatus...?
depression. it rain down on me finally.
i knew it was suspicious when i was too fine about the past.
hahahahhhahahahahahah.
been listening to "wish it would rain" by the temptations a lot.
hope you listen to it too cause i like that song.
for those who has emotional unrest about a certain someone,
listen to the song..its awesome..plus you are doing a lot of people a favor,
wish for it to rain guys, its kindda hot nowadays.

(sa pribadong blog >>>>....)

something new, something old, something blue....

2010-04-22T23:51:00.002+08:00

im going through tough time of my life(so far)
im going to lay low for a while.
so there wont be any updates till im ready.
if there is no update in a month (23rd), then please delete this link or something.

will update on fb though....
dont contact me till i contact you(selfish, i know)

ok, goodbye !!!

oh god....

2010-04-19T23:12:00.002+08:00

im freaking tired this past few days...
once home, its off to bed....
nothing much to say, just that im falling in love again...
with my course..
hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahaha.....
yes everyone!!!
my course is awesome and i love it...
now at least...
thats all...
bye bye...

SCHOOL STARTING AGAIN....

2010-04-11T06:23:00.003+08:00

yup yup yup....school starting again and i cant wait. holidays are a drag and its finally over. new classmates, same ol'friends. its going to be awesome. this holidays is something that i wont forget, or at least i try to remember most of it. but in 4 days time new memories will be created. sweet. its like new years. hahahaha, i tend to do resolutions on this days cause, it kindda mark a new era for me. and i need to get my "clock" in order again. that means no late nights.

short post this morning...cause i need to sleep.

anws,to you,( you know who you are ).

i was kindda looking for the same thing. I figured i was ready to do something that is serious, but hey, maybe you and I will find a better one...

i'll talk to you as usual on monday then....(p.s. it really a true story, starting now.....)

this is dedicated to you....

2010-04-08T06:06:00.003+08:00

the is so many things that i can say to you but will you listen i really dont know so even if you dont read this post, i really need to let this go. We had so much respect for you, we tolerated everything that you gave us. We believed every word that you said, laughed at every joke you made, followed every step you took. and i dont understand why arent you listening to what we are saying now. You initiated everything. that was your problem. The same lines you used to everyone, and when we said the truth, its like you cover your ears to us. you didnt mean to do what you did, then why are we feeling this hurt from you. WHY? give me a good reason besides saying that you cant change the way we feel. what we feel is based on your actions. YOUR FREAKING ACTIONS.
you told me to start asking myself, use your own advice to yourself. GOD!!

FRIENDS DONT DO WHAT YOU DID TO ANOTHER FRIEND. i hope you see what u did..wake up !!

i dont know whats wrong?

2010-04-04T18:44:00.000+08:00

something's wrong with my family. it seems that everyone has the equal amount of pride.
no one will ask for help from anyone and its like really hard to even hear," can u help me with something?". its like everything must me your own initiative. What are the odds of anyone going to someone to actually ask " may i help you with something?" really..sigh!!!

international you day!!!

2010-04-04T05:27:00.001+08:00

i'm sorry that it took so long
to write this song
but i gave up
you see one million words can't describe
how it feels
to know your love

where did i go wrong?
i should have told you from the start
that i'm closer then you think
when we're apart
nothing that i've tried
is as simple as this line

but without you
my life is incomplete
my days are absolutely gray
and so i try
let your heart know for sure
that i have so much more to tell you
every single day

i swear i'm giving up my inside
to the one
that i adored
i know this world is big enough
for you and i
but i'll give you more

i'm coming home today
to wipe the tear drop from your eyes
i'm totally enamored by your life
nothing that i've done
has ever been for one

but without you
my life is incomplete
my days are absolutely gray
and so i try
let your heart know for sure
that i have so much more to tell you
every single day

my life is incomplete
my rights are absolutely wrong
so wake me up
before you leave today
something i need to say
cause they'll be nothing when you're gone

dedicated to the people i can count on !!!!

2010-04-02T05:36:00.005+08:00

kathyreen

effy

the awesome fivesome

ma bros....

ma extended bros....hahahahah

NANTHINI!!!!

tempted....

2010-04-01T19:26:00.002+08:00

im so tempted to talk to you.
its hard not to.
i want to know how was your day, even if its super ordinary.
to an extend to wad did u have for lunch.
is it wrong?
im really afraid that it you would become an obsession.
ill even end up stalking you home...hahahahahaha....
maybe its a way to say that i miss you.
it completes my day.

memories....argh!!!!!

2010-03-30T07:44:00.008+08:00

i stumbled upon my old ncc pictures...i had a good laugh looking at myself, cant believe i was like that. seriously, what was i thinking..? anws here's a sneek peek of pics i got. hahahahahha enjoy..

on my first open house. i was a roving soldier boy with fake camo rifle. we acted as if we were on mission, but in reality we were just walking around...hahahahahha
(im the first guy on the left)

this was at another cca open house...hehe..it was our last year, and we wanted to go out with style...hahahahahha

this is at mount. ophir in m'sia..i went there a several times...not sure how many time though...hahahhaha. this was when i was sec 4. fun times. looking at this pics made me realized that i dont really wanna grow up..hahahahhaha..great times, now its only memories and i look back laughing...

im just scared of what you'll think of me if i............

2010-03-27T07:35:00.001+08:00

And I long for you to appear
After losing your way across star riddled skies
To carry you home

And I long for you to appear
After losing your way across star riddled skies
To carry you home

I cherish my loss
A gentle reminder, that life is unkind
At the best of times

And I long for you to appear
After losing your way across star riddled skies
To carry you home

I cherish my loss
A gentle reminder, that life is unkind
At the best of times

(Brace yourself, cause I think I'm falling for you. Look up into the sky)

Home could be anywhere, when I am holding you..

insomnia..ah ah ahhhh.....

2010-03-23T02:20:00.003+08:00

there are a lot of things that goes on my mind every night. Because of this thoughts i cant sleep. It's regret. They say live life with no regrets but in the end we will still have regrets because, maybe, the thing about regrets is that we dont want to let go of the mistakes we did in the past.

Then you think of all the negative things you did to yourself or to others. Its the you blame yourself thing that eats you up. To know that something could be better but you decided to change some things in your life. In the end it becomes so bad that it makes you feel such a loser. Pathetic.

It become a huge problem when you really cant accept the truth and unwilling to let go. even when your paramour has moved on and is being happy. yea, you should be happy. But there is always this lingering feeling that, that could be you if you didnt screwed something up. sometimes we tend to forget, we put what we want first then what we need.

a friend from a far....(whatever that means..)

2010-03-22T23:20:00.002+08:00

hola

this post is dedicated to a friend of mine. she went to aussie and came back with the most greatest gift ever. a gift that she was thinking of me!! or a coincidental picture and she just tag me in fb. but its really awesome....

im the empty one...hahahahahah..thanks ritzy!!!

rain...

2010-03-21T05:13:00.002+08:00

I miss having rain drops on my face.
Its fun.
Its relaxing.
Its soothing.
Sort of like it cleanses your soul.
It drains all your sorrows away.
Fills you with a quiet joy.
Its the foundation of life.
It humbles you.
It makes everything in your life seem right.
Rain.

stupid February me!!!

2010-03-19T19:48:00.002+08:00

was reading my previous posts. February. thats where the most mistakes of the year happened(so far). if only i can turn back time, i can change the things that happen. maybe smack the February me on the head and open his eyes to the things that was worth to him. the people that he needed to keep, not the one that he wants to keep.

ok..will update soon.

masks

2010-03-18T19:00:00.003+08:00

things have been quite well for me this past few days. its a wonder how your friends can sort of sense the u are not quite yourself. And they will always make things better. But at the end of the day, its really up to u to be happy or not. i believe no one can make u sad or miserable unless u allow them to.

i was told that i'm wearing a mask. Masks are good. Even if its like you are just lying to yourself. But in my opinion, wearing a mask, is just to hide something u don't want others to be troubled about. because its something you have to go through it yourself. so rather then just ruins the mood, it better to just put on a face and "enjoy" the moment.

this depicts what i feel.....

2010-03-17T17:25:00.003+08:00

2010-03-17T06:48:00.002+08:00

even though its has only been 4 days, i felt like its has been a week since i last updated my blog.neglected. anyways a lot of things happen this past few days, went karaoke again. slack. slack. slack.

holidays are freaking boring. its not like last time where in primary school, i look forward to holidays. it seems like i have alot to do during the holidays. like play. now it spending my time thinking what i want to do. and even though my friends and i meet every single day. its not fin like it was suppose to be...
k, im lying...its awesome!!

i really cant wait for school. its going to be freaking awesome. new people. new module. awesome!!!!

expectations....

2010-03-12T15:13:00.002+08:00

expectation, i never had any expectations of u cause i really meant what i say when i said, at ur own pace. i believe every girl are unique in their every way, in my opinion, i like a girl because, i genuinely like the girl. i wont tell the girl to change any of it, its part of who she is and thats what i like about it...

do i make any sense to anyone?

the kill - 30 seconds to mars

2010-03-11T06:03:00.001+08:00

What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do?

What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't take all this anymore
What would you do, do, do?

Come break me down
Marry me, bury me
I am finished with you

What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life
What would you do?

You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for?
I'm not running from you

Come break me down
Marry me, bury me
I am finished with you

Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you

I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside

Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance
I know now, this is who I really am

Come break me down
Marry me, bury me
I am finished with you, you, you

Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you

Come, break me down
Break me down
Break me down

What if I wanted to break?
What if I, what if I, what if I
Bury me, bury me

this song reflect the feelings i have currently....

amazed...

2010-03-08T14:05:00.002+08:00

its amazing that there are a lot of songs that really relates to what u are feeling. it kindda soothe the pain or embrace the happiness of the heart. but it has its side effect though.. it bring the memories and make u remember the past. if its painful, the memories will remember the pain.

2010-03-07T13:16:00.003+08:00

im single and sort of happy about it. Kinda sound pathetic but its what i am now, so might as well be happy about it.
i guess i can live life now..whatever that means. But if i were to really think properly about this, i guess im really too young to jump into one. i mean i am looking for a long term relationship and i want my partner to be serious about it as much as me. But looking at most of the people around me, they're just out for fun or for the status. i want the "meaning" not just the "name". but there are things i wanna to do before i get myself to another relationship.

one of it is...

i want to do things alone. i donno why but i really want to experience that. its just somethings i want to do in the course of my life...like watch movies alone, go shopping alone..that sort of things...

ERM..MY SOUL FOR SALE...PLEASE TAKE IT..I DONT WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE...

2010-03-01T09:11:00.002+08:00

.......
yes guys im depressed now. its 912am in the morning and i didnt sleep. why??
text me and i'll tell u. trying my best to numb myself, really. tts it. gonna be smoking a lot this coming days. have to catch up with all the days i didnt smoke.hahahaha...

no amir...be strong. every endeavor makes u stronger!!!! sigh..i really need someone to talk to....anyone please text me..im desperate!!!

u do it first...noo...u do it first...noo...u do it first..

2010-02-28T04:17:00.002+08:00

finally some free time for me again. what i did this week....
ohh..today(sun) i skipped worked. "im not in singapore" line is always work...hehehe...
hmm..practically nothing changed this past few days..i still have not gotten my pay yet.

monday...1st of march..bbq part 2!!! whahaha..cant wait..the karaoke thing, i have pics..ill upload it later...lazy.

pardon the dots..just wanna make the post seem longer...hahahahahha...
im tired, im sleepy...just ignore me...

*erm..is it ok, if u do it first instead of me...take the first step please...*

distraction please......

2010-02-24T16:46:00.002+08:00

ive been working this week..a lot too...
just trying to keep my mind distracted from my own thoughts...
holidays are becoming a big bummer now..i really cant wait for school.
all that learning stuff.hahaha.

kat is having her exams this week..wonder if she doing well??
been kindda afraid to talk to her..no,no..not afraid, just awkward.she did say not to text her or even make contact. hahaha..i donno...
but sometimes i really miss talking to her...hahah..the thing i miss most is her -____-" expression.

anws, going karaoke with nat and friends tmr. and on monday its bbq part 2 again. with the usual peeps. gonna be fun again!!! hahaha...

what the heck...???

2010-02-22T05:10:00.002+08:00

im really losing my grip here....
seriously...
what the heck was i thinking....??!!!
ok,ok..i have to think properly on this...
reflect dude reflect...!!!!

THE F****

WHAT WAS I THINKING...!!!!!!!

what if u....

2010-02-17T04:19:00.003+08:00

what if u dont wanna let go?
what if u just cant?
what if u know its making things harder but it just seem too right?
what if u feel weird not thinking about it?
what if u regret what u've done?
what if u know u could have done better?
what if u cant let it out of ur head?
what if u sleep thinking about it?
what if u dream about it?
what if u have the same feelings about it?
what if all i want is u.....
if all i want is u.....
all i want is u.....
i want is u.....
want is u.....
is u.....
.
.
.
.
YOU

I'd like to return a dad, i think this one is defective..

2010-02-15T12:14:00.002+08:00

i had it up to here (hand placed on top of head) with my dad. he can be such a hypocrite. Oh i promise u this, i promise u that, but u gotta go to more institute than the one u already got yourself into. then all the promises are gone, and im left with the institute. every time its like this. We made a deal and he doesn't come through and i am stuck with everything.

oh he depends on me for everything. he put me as an example for the others. please, if u want an example, put yourself as an example. its more effective that way. Not point to another person. 'I hate delays' he said, "u disappointed me" he said, "we(boys) have to stick together" he said. please how many times u let me down. even the others said not to rely on you too much.

please..i need a dad. not this.

CNY!!!!!!!

2010-02-13T13:00:00.004+08:00

gong xi gong xi...

this is what i like a bout Singapore...diversity. later on im going to crystals place cause her mom invited us for dinner. steam boat. hmmm.....^^

v day coming. and im spending it alone. again. its ok, im used to that. luckily most of my friends are single...hohoho. hanging out till late in the morning again i guess...!!!! AWESOME..!!!! TOTALLY~~~

speaking of awesome totally thing...

natasha, me, waisun.(first row)
Crystal,Ritz chupachup, vishal(is that how u spell his name??)
hanafi. nanthini and mas...hahahah..awesome ninesome..

waiting....

2010-02-12T01:42:00.002+08:00

i feel e-dee-o-tic sometimes when i look at my phone, just because i thought it vibrated but no one text-ed. the sudden feeling of happiness and excitement fills me, and it ended up as no one. when a friend ask, i just answer, just looking at the time~...

what went wrong...??

No ending it happily.

2010-02-10T02:32:00.003+08:00

It went from good to bad to worse.
I cant believe u turn a bliss into a curse.
No matter what u say, no matter what u do.
I have to stop thinking of you.

oh baby, you
dont know how it feels..
to know that im
not your priority..
it dont matter now,
when this is how things turning out.(ohhh)
the days of you and i are thru...(yea)

girl, where were you when i needed u? (yea)
this wasnt how i wanted us to be..
oh baby cant you see,
youre killing me..ohh
i guess there no ending this happily...

i never thought youre a burden to me.
the most treasured things are the memories.
but baby, you let me go,
so i think you should know.
you left a scar deep inside of me...(yea)

dont think i want to see your face.
this feeling, how i want it to fade.
please dont get me wrong,
you made me feel so alone.(ohh)
and you said you loved me all along..(noo)

where was the girl, when i first saw you
the girl who took away my blues
the fire burning out.
there's no romance in us now(noo)
this is the end for me and you...

girl, where were you when i needed u? (yea)
this wasnt how i wanted us to be..
oh baby cant you see,
youre killing me..(ohh)
i guess there no ending this happily...
X2

2010-02-07T18:13:00.002+08:00

SECOND SEM. DIDNT SUCK AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. HAD SOO MUCH FUN. THE UPS AND DOWNS OF THE CLASS, WE HELD EACH OTHER CLOSE. HAHAHAHHA....

U GUYS ARE PLACE ON A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART....I MISS U GUYS...